I meant to call you, but I haven’t had time. You have to be at the meeting. Yes, I agree but I think this would work better. You are always late. You never do what you say. I am just a coach. You should have known. You need to go to the meeting. I hate going there.
I will stop here out of fear if I continue with more examples you will stop reading for the statements are not exactly inspiring or uplifting. Actually, quite the opposite, and yet, I hear versions thereof all the time: from my clients, my friends, my family, and dare I admit, myself. Whether we say them out loud or to ourselves in our own mental meanderings, the effect is the same: they limit our progress, our growth, our success, and our likeability factor.
We are fortunate to have over half a million words in our English language and a myriad of ways to put them together to adequately represent what we want to say. We have words that have richness beyond their meaning. And we have the opposite, those that I personally strive to eliminate from my spoken and unspoken vocabulary, and as importantly, to replace them with words that accelerate my forward progress, remind me that I am always in choice and facilitate my ability to see possibilities rather than problems.
Words are only one component of language, and historically, as long as they were spelled and used correctly, I did not pay much attention to them. Listening attentively to my clients over the past several years has taught me differently, as I now fully realize that words are far more than their definitional meaning, they have power and energy within them, about them. And that power and energy have tremendous influence on us, the people around us, and the world at large.
In my opening paragraph, I listed several versions of verbiage and phraseology that I hear regularly, all of which put out negative vibes. But by definition means “to the contrary”, and thus, each time we use it, we are diminishing the value of what has previously been said. And because it is so commonly and I would argue overused, before long, we have “butted” ourselves right out of a conversation, which we leave frustrated, annoyed, drained and unsure what happened. Have to tells us we have no choice; it feels heavy and punitive. Never and always are the extreme absolutes, leaving no room for anything else. Should implies poor judgment was used, and erodes our confidence, keeping us stuck in the past. Let alone the underlying false assumption it makes that if we did what we “should have done”, the outcome would be different. And words like hate, greed, fool, stupid need no explanation, and have no positive value.
When I speak with someone who is happy/satisfied in life, I rarely hear them say such words. Rather I hear and more than but; am, will, or want to more than have to or must; and simply, no shoulds, rather, what if’s as they envision the future. Words are powerful, and available to all of us. Use them to carry you forward; to discover possibility; and to assist you in living a life you love.
As I continue my exploration with words, I have come across the work of Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist who years ago began a quest to discover the mystery of water. His book, Messages from Water is a photo collection of water crystals of natural water and tap water from locations all over the world, and of water exposed to a variety of circumstances. The crystal pictures are fascinating in their display of distinguishing characteristics, representative of their location. Being a scientist and intrigued by his findings, Dr. Emoto took his research a step further, in experimenting with the influence of words on the water. While admittedly not explained by conventional science, he and others have repeatedly shown that water exposed to words is transformed, and water exposed to positive words like love and thank you generates clearer crystal, healthier plants, fermented rice (check out www.hado.net) versus water that is exposed to words like ugly, hate, and “you fool”.
People living extra ordinary lives resonate with Dr. Emoto’s work. We see and feel the transformative power of words, and in our quest for positive transformation, for peace, for joy, and for possibility, we strive to choose words that leverage our actions and catalyze our growth.
What words in your vocabulary that if eliminated and replaced with others would open you up for greater satisfaction, promote your growth, and alleviate your frustration? Commit to eliminate or at least minimize your usage of them.
What words can you commit to add to your daily vocabulary to bring about positive transformation?
About Extra Ordinary Living
Janet began her coaching journey in January of 2004, leaving behind a satisfying career as a healthcare executive. Working first under the company name, Tiberius Enterprises, in January of 2007, Janet adopted the company name, Extra Ordinary Living, symbolizing her desire to work with people who defy the law of average and want to live extraordinary lives, consistently adding the extra to the ordinary. Her by-line embracing sustainable change is reflective of two intentions. First is to have the changes a client makes have long term positive implications. Second is to live a life that respects the importance of sustaining our planet’s lives for generations to follow.
As an Executive Coach, Janet’s intention is to assist service professionals and organizations to maximize their return on human capital….managing human behaviors for optimal outcomes. Janet has repeatedly found that an individual’s professional and personal satisfaction and happiness is often limited by their very own “human capital.” She loves working with people to identify and own their natural tendencies, abilities and talents; to recognize their limitations, and apply all in creating the life they have historically only dreamed about. As a professional coach, Janet is trained to listen, to observe and to customize her approach to match her client’s needs. She provides tools, support, structure and accountability to help her clients unleash their full potential and optimize results.
Having a coach herself for over four years, Janet has found the best thing about coaching is that it is all about you, the client, and what you want. A coach may share her opinion, and give you advice; however, it is all up to you to pick and choose what you want to accept. A coach suspends judgment, and supports you in your decisions.
With the coaching philosophy as her foundation, Janet is also an inspirational Professional Speaker. She has spoken at local, state and national conferences, providing the plenary session as well as more structured workshops. Her goal is to impart useful, practical and memorable information in a fun and dynamic way to assist her audiences in living extra ordinary lives. Janet always customizes her content to match her audience.
Interested in learning more? Please contact Janet by phone at 540-342-3040, email, email@example.com, or visit the website, www.4extraordinaryliving.com.
Janet Crawford MHA, MBA Professional Certified Coach
Extra Ordinary Living is written for aspiring individuals looking for new perspectives and ideas for living life differently by finding the Extra in the Ordinary.
Sustainable Living Tip:
Magic of Vinegar
In my quest to find an alternative cleaner to replace the more traditional chemical laced cleaners, I stumbled on The Vinegar Institute. Yes, indeed, a website devoted to vinegar and its multiple uses…
Removes stains, including wine
Makes fluffier rice
Neutralize smells, including skunk!
And on and on.
The other great aspect is it costs less than $2.00 a gallon. I invite you to checkout the website www.versatilevinegar.org to learn more, and to join me in stamping out hazardous chemical use in our homes. Now that I have discovered the magic of vinegar, it is a lot easier than I originally thought it would be.
“Hado creates words. Words are the vibrations of nature.
Therefore beautiful words create beautiful nature.
Ugly words create ugly nature. This is the root of the universe.”
– Masaru Emoto
"Language is a part of our organism and no less complicated than it."
– Ludwig Wittgenstein
"A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child."
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
EOL Upcoming Events:
I am very excited to let you know about a women’s retreat that Dr. Joanne Greenawald and I will be hosting the weekend of February 29th, 2008! Look for more details in my upcoming ezine. Mark your calendars now to join us for a weekend all about YOU and good for the whole YOU!
Thank you for reading. We welcome your opinions, comments and suggestions. Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org